that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
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I think I sprained my soul last night
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
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Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
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