I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
