1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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