Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize