Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
