YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
