ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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