if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
