i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
