I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
