Moan for me like Helen Keller
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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