Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
