Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
