Duck Duck Cougar?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures