I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams