It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird