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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)

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• (530): View more from California

  just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.

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  27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I think the camel was justified in biting me.

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• (631): View more from New York

  I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse

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  These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...

  (1-320): View more from Minnesota

  It's been a bad semester.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.

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