Texts From Last Night

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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.

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  (856): i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall. http://tfl.nu/yfss
  Replies (66) Good night (5552) Bad night (1410) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars

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  (615): one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars http://tfl.nu/tq7c
  Replies (14) Good night (899) Bad night (2983) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone

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  (330): Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone http://tfl.nu/esjp
  Replies (68) Good night (6335) Bad night (1404) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.

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  (413): I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick. http://tfl.nu/84fo
  Replies (15) Good night (1919) Bad night (6422) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.

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  (206): All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came. http://tfl.nu/je3h
  Replies (8) Good night (4329) Bad night (764)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I swear to god he's a one man village people.

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  (503): I swear to god he's a one man village people. http://tfl.nu/tro1
  Replies (13) Good night (2895) Bad night (1155) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper

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  (773): That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper http://tfl.nu/zcg4
  Replies (3) Good night (1827) Bad night (650) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Drunk walkin through police station. America

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  (406): Drunk walkin through police station. America http://tfl.nu/cieu
  Replies (13) Good night (2874) Bad night (765) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.

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  (630): Thursday nights need to stop happening to me. http://tfl.nu/p744
  Replies (8) Good night (2241) Bad night (810) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.

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  (406): Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick. http://tfl.nu/xla1
  Replies (6) Good night (1914) Bad night (662) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.

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  (937): And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/r7zp
  Replies (12) Good night (1073) Bad night (2934) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won

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  (774): Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won http://tfl.nu/tslf
  Replies (10) Good night (1234) Bad night (317) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze

  (713): View more from Texas

  My liver has a boner

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  (832): But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze (713): My liver has a boner http://tfl.nu/y8xq
  Replies (3) Good night (1187) Bad night (353)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one

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  (615): The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one http://tfl.nu/1h27
  Replies (3) Good night (1496) Bad night (263)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment

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  (781): Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment http://tfl.nu/se99
  Replies (4) Good night (1538) Bad night (310) Order T-Shirt

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