Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(361): View more from Texas

At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(361): At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now? http://tfl.nu/lbi5

Replies (21) Good night (4624) Bad night (820)
Favorite
(703): View more from Virginia

you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(703): you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle http://tfl.nu/qvl1

Replies (16) Good night (1287) Bad night (4057)
Favorite
(541): View more from Oregon

does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(541): does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized http://tfl.nu/g99b

Replies (12) Good night (3899) Bad night (1153)
Favorite
(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(902): Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines. http://tfl.nu/9k5b

Replies (12) Good night (4820) Bad night (885)
Favorite
(816): View more from Missouri

There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(816): There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be? http://tfl.nu/l5gd

Replies (9) Good night (2000) Bad night (962)
Favorite
(503): View more from Oregon

I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?

(1-503): View more from Oregon

yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(503): I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan? (1-503): yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case. http://tfl.nu/ztrg

Replies (1) Good night (1414) Bad night (779)
Favorite
(207): View more from Maine

Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?

(1-207): View more from Maine

I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(207): Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I? (1-207): I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me. http://tfl.nu/4usu

Replies (5) Good night (2886) Bad night (957)
Favorite
(406): View more from Montana

All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(406): All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off http://tfl.nu/72k1

Replies (14) Good night (2312) Bad night (1014)
Favorite
(978): View more from Massachusetts

I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(978): I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up. http://tfl.nu/kbsr

Replies (0) Good night (1293) Bad night (544)
Favorite
(+02): View more from

I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+02): I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods http://tfl.nu/ntv5

Replies (1) Good night (1127) Bad night (425)
Favorite
(843): View more from South Carolina

May the one with the liver that just won't quit win

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(843): May the one with the liver that just won't quit win http://tfl.nu/5sn2

Replies (3) Good night (1047) Bad night (621)
Favorite
(617): View more from Massachusetts

Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(617): Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now." http://tfl.nu/y913

Replies (7) Good night (1233) Bad night (452)
Favorite
(605): View more from South Dakota

I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex

(563): View more from Iowa

Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(605): I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex (563): Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers. http://tfl.nu/hepc

Replies (2) Good night (965) Bad night (388)
Favorite
(585): View more from New York

my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(585): my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school http://tfl.nu/80pu

Replies (2) Good night (612) Bad night (198)
Favorite
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(215): It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics. http://tfl.nu/pu5z

Replies (4) Good night (422) Bad night (187)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard