They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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