I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
