Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Randomize
