i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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