I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
