no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
