i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
where does the pee come out of this thing
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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