i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
