i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
