I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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