i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
there was a trapeze. enough said
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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