Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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