yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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