I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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