just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
