Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
