I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
