I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker