Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?

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(281): I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow? http://tfl.nu/ft8k

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(703): View more from Virginia

capris are just wrong

(703): View more from Virginia

its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"

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(703): capris are just wrong (703): its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!" http://tfl.nu/xkxd

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.

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(580): I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite. http://tfl.nu/hgau

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(775): View more from Nevada

Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.

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(775): Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket. http://tfl.nu/kdwl

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.

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(918): i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break. http://tfl.nu/35mv

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(616): View more from Michigan

You are an asshole

(574): View more from Indiana

haha sleeping beauty awakes.

(616): View more from Michigan

Where did you find this costume?

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(616): You are an asshole (574): haha sleeping beauty awakes. (616): Where did you find this costume? http://tfl.nu/m4ai

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(803): View more from South Carolina

just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one

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(803): just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one http://tfl.nu/7c6m

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(630): View more from Illinois

Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.

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(630): Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze. http://tfl.nu/d5vp

Replies (113) Good night (1322) Bad night (24732)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear

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(931): and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear http://tfl.nu/30cm

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(708): View more from Illinois

I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them

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(708): I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them http://tfl.nu/hbhk

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(954): View more from Florida

My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him

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(954): My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him http://tfl.nu/f43y

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(419): View more from Ohio

fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.

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(419): fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back. http://tfl.nu/wq3e

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(303): View more from Colorado

That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth

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(303): That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth http://tfl.nu/ml2x

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(314): View more from Missouri

It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke

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(314): It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke http://tfl.nu/h2tw

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(434): View more from Virginia

We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.

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(434): We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them. http://tfl.nu/odfm

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