watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You made out with two different species that night
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.