Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...