I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Dating After Heartbreak
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops