he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
