So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
