Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
