He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
