theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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