Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
