I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
