The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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