You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
