Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
