he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
