theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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