you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
