We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
