Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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