I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
