I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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