yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
