I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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