you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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