idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
