me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
