and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
the gays at disneyland are vicious
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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