its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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