how hairy? two words: wookie tits
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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