Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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