he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
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I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
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God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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