Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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