Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize