Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
