yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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