she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize