can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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