dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
The Olympian is in my bed
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
